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| Oh no, not him again! Stalking and harassment can bring unspeakable anguish (photo: NELC) |
"I HAVE had taxis called to my house at 3am, and six different pizza take aways delivered in one night - none of which I had ordered!"
"If I was eating in McDonalds, he was in the queue for the drive-thru. If I went to Asda, he was in the next aisle. I couldn’t figure out how he always knew where I was."
This is what North East Lincolnshire woman has said of her experience of stalking.
Latest figures from the Suzy Lamplugh Trust show that one in five women nationally is or has been the victim of stalking.
In North East Lincolnshire in 2023/2024, there were 5,300 reported instances of violence against women and girls and a growing number of these incidents relate to stalking.
The women featured are all being supported by Women’s Aid. Here is what they had to say in this special feature compiled by North East Lincolnshire Council's media department.
Jane reported how her ex-husband drove past her house at all times of the day and night.
She said that if it wasn’t him driving past, it was a takeaways delivery driver turning up to her house late at night with a meal that she had not ordered.
"It feels like little things each time, and when you tell someone an isolated experience, they may not think it’s that much of a big deal,"she said.
"But when this is happening every single day, it starts to become a problem.
"I can’t even prove it’s undeniably my ex who is ringing the taxis and ordering the takeaways, but there wouldn’t be anyone else who would do this to me."
This experience is is echoed in Emma’s story.
She could not understand how her ex-boyfriend seemed to know where she was at all times.
She explained how he seemed to turn up wherever she was even when she had turned off all location-sharing on both her phone and her children’s phones.
She had mechanics check her car for trackers and regularly changed her routine. But he still managed to figure out where she was.
Her friends tried to tell Emma that North East Lincolnshire is such a small place that it may have been a coincidence, but her gut feeling was that it was something more sinister.
Emma took her phone to the provider who was able to go through each app.
This found a false parcel tracking link that had been emailed to Emma and had downloaded a hidden app that shared her location.
With the hidden app deleted, Emma found that her ex was no longer showing up whenever she left the house.
Emma said: "Women’s Aid have been amazing. There were times when I felt like I was going crazy.
"I feel so much safer now, and it’s all thanks to Women’s Aid believing me."
Another victim, Henrietta, could not understand why her ex started making odd comments to her mother when he came to pick up their child.
He was saying things about Henrietta’s haircut or the new furniture she had bought for her house.
After inspection, Henrietta found that a gift her son had brought home had a tracker in it. Her ex had been watching her remotely.
These three women’s names have been changed for safety and privacy, but their stories are true.
Detective Chief Inspector Nicola Roworth, Humberside Police’s Lead for Stalking, said: "We are seeing an increase of instances of stalking, and there is no level of stalking or harassment that is acceptable.
"It is important to know what the signs are if you think you might be being stalked.
"Stalking behaviour is labelled as FOUR – Fixated, Obsessive, Unwanted and Repetitive.
"If someone is exhibiting stalking behaviours towards you, please report it to the police.
Stalking and harassment does not have to mean it takes place in person or involves being physically followed or threatened.
Stalking can be in several different forms, such as:
* Turning up at work or other locations they know you will be at
* Leaving unwanted gifts
* Messages sent through social media and other social networks
* Monitoring through tracking devices and mobile apps
Men are also sometimes victims of stalking but none has been inclined to share his experience with the council.
Women’s Aid NEL has a wide range of support options for those who are being stalked or harassed and encourages those experiencing this to contact them for advice sooner rather than later.
Cllr Stan Shreeve, North East Lincolnshire Council’s Deputy Leader and Portfolio Holder for Health, Wellbeing, and Adult Social Care comments: "Women’s Aid work so hard to support our vulnerable.
"They do outstanding work supporting and advising those at some of their most difficult times."
If you need support with dealing with stalking, ring Women’s Aid on 01472 575757 or visit www.womensaidnel.org
For more information visit https://www.nelincs.gov.uk/keeping-our-area-clean-and-safe/stalking-and-harassment/
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